RABBIT   A small rodent, very similar to a hare, which feeds on grass and burrows in the earth. WELSH RABBIT   More like a string, thrives on cheese and burrows in the stomach.
RACE-TRACK   An interesting locality, where pools are bought and sold in books and the heat never interferes with the search for the Pole.
RADIUM   A radiant radiator, redolent of ranging radial rays of radio-activity, raised to radical rates and regarded as a ruthless rake-off in the reign of riches within the arrayed radius of a raging, raving and raided race.
RAG-TIME   Music pulled into many pieces--the invention of a flannel-mouth to which many have cottoned.
RAPID TRANSIT   A municipal myth, circulated for the amusement of the long suffering--and slow moving--public.
REFORM   In general, a periodic epidemic, starting with marked heat, followed by a high fever, and accompanied by a flow of ink in the newspapers, a discharge of words from the face and a rush of blood to the polls, leaving the victim a chronic invalid until the next campaign. In New York, reform has been confined to a Low attempt at government.
REFORMER   One who, when he smells a rat, is eager to let the cat out of the bag.
REGISTER
register The only autograph album which it costs you money to write in.
REGRETS   An excuse for non-attendance at a social function. Occasionally, an expression of sorrow; usually, a paean of praise at deliverance from evil.
RELATIONS   A tedious pack of people who haven't the remotest knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to die.
RELIGION   A cloak used by some persons in this world who will be warm enough without one in the next.
R. E. MORSE   A veteran General who commands the largest army in the world.
REPARTEE   The sassy habit of talking back.
REPUTATION   A personal possession, frequently not discovered until lost.
RESIDENCE   A rural locality inhabited annually--for a few hours--by a rich New Yorker or Bostonian.
RESOLUTION   A fragile bit of crockery fashioned on the first day of January and usually broken on the second.
RESORT (SUMMER)   A place where the tired grow more tired. From Eng. rest, and Grk. orizo, to limit. A place where rest is limited.
REST A trade in which every hobo holds a Union Card for life.
RESTAURANT   An institution for the spread of dyspepsia. From Lat. restauro, to repair, and Grk. anti, against. After patronizing, you're "up against repairs."
RHETORIC   Language in a dress suit.
RICE   An effective field-piece, used for assaulting Chinamen or the newly-married.
ROQUEFORT   A kind of cheese whose odor puts it easily in the first rank.
ROYCROFTER   A successful book-maker on the East Aurora turf. From Fr. roi, king, and old Saxon crofter, or grafter. King of Grafters.
RUMOR   The long-distance champion of the Human Race--a monster with more tales than an octopus.
RUST   Physical dullness.

RUSTIC   Mental dullness.