TAILOR   One who takes your measure on first sight, gives you a fit, sews you up and follows suit until paid.
TALK   A continuous performance playing daily and nightly engagements, with Woman as the star and Man confined in the Family Circle.
TELEGRAM
telegram A form of correspondence sent by a man in a hurry and carried by a boy in sleep.
TELEPHONE   From Eng. tell, to talk, and Grk. phonos, murder. A machine in which talk is murdered.
TENNIS   A game in which the participants enjoy a racket on the side and raise the deuce over a net, while the volleys drive them from set to set and love scores as often as it's mentioned.
TEMPER   A quality, the loss of which is likely to make a knife blade dull and a woman's tongue sharp.
THERMOMETER
thermometer A short, glass tube that regulates the weather--and usually does a poor job.
THIRST   A sensation immediately following a short session at the free lunch stand.
TIDE   An old friend who comes and goes daily but is all in whenever he gets over the bay.
TITIAN   The color a poor red-headed girl's hair becomes as soon as her father strikes oil.
TIPS   Wages we pay other people's hired help.
TOBACCO   A nauseating plant that is consumed by but two creatures; a large, green worm and--man. The worm doesn't know any better.
TONGUE   An unruly member that is frequently put out, yet an artist who's a hard worker at the palate and a great wag among women.
TOUCH   A habit common to the impecunious, causing in its victim a feeling of faintness, followed by a chill or a sense of loss.
TRANSFER   A small bit of paper of remarkable strength, being able to carry a heavy man several miles.
TROLLEY-CAR   A conveyance filled with advertisements, and occasionally passengers, and operated by Poles.
TROUBLE   Something that many are looking for but no one wants.
TRUST   A small body of capital entirely surrounded by water.
TWINS   Insult added to Injury.
TWISTERS
twisters An undesirable thing to have on hand.