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Subject: MUNSA Application
Message-ID: <1lnjljINNeiq@gap.caltech.edu>
From: cco.caltech.edu!nathan (Nathan Mates)
Date: 15 Feb 1993 08:18:59 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
NNTP-Posting-Host: krusty.caltech.edu
Originator: nathan@krusty
Lines: 102
MUNSA Application
Have you an unusual Intelligence? Do you find you lose interest
in supposedly "Interesting movies"? It could be that you're one of
the 5% of the population that has the mental capacity of a steaming
turd! If so, you may want to join MUNSA - Mentally Unemployed and
Noticeably Stupid Association.
Try the questionnaire below. The results could surprise you! If
you can't even read the question, you're halfway there already -
just get someone to fill out our full colour brochure at any
trailing chemist, and you'll be in for some, good old fashioned
non-challenging material.
- Which of the following WAS one of the famous Marx Brothers?
a. STRETCH
b. SKID
c. HARPO
d. TYRE
- The number missing from the series (1,2,4,..,16) is:
a. YELLOW
b. GERANIUM
c. 8
d. TYRE
- The letter missing from the series (a,b,c,..,e) is:
a. z
b. b
c. d
d. TYRE
- A man walks into a Barber Shop, with $5.00. He buys 2 lemons
at 45c each, 1 Pickled Eel for $2.40, 4 packets of washing powder
for $3.15 each. What will happen?
a. The Barber is going to wonder where all the stuffs coming from
b. He wasn't in a Barber's shop, it was a Dairy
c. The Barber will ask him if he's from MUNSA
d. Tyre
- Two trains leave the same station, but moving in opposite directions.
The first train is travelling at 50km/hr EAST, while the second one
is travelling 50km/hr WEST. Which train is travelling the fastest?
a. The one going EAST
b. The one going WEST
c. Neither
d. Tyre
e. Why aren't there (e.)'s in all the other questions
- What comes next in the series (RED, GREEN)
a. A car
b. Orange
c. Insufficient Data
d. Tyre
- Mona Lisa was:
a. A dissatisfied Woman
b. A Song by Billy Idol
c. A painting
d. Tyre
- The cold war was about:
a. Ice
b. Autumn
c. A few people at the top not liking each other
d. Tyre
- Complete the following Sequence: (Tyre Tyre Tyre)
a. Tyre
b. Tyre
c. Tyre
d. Pardon?
Ok, time to total up all your marks. Those of you who haven't mastered
addition yet, go straight on to the application; you're the sort of person
we're looking for. If not, Give yourself 5 points for every D, -5 for
every C, (+10 if you can't add negative numbers yet), 0 for every B and 0
for every A you ticked.
How did you do.
| 90 to 50 |
OK! You're the sort of person we're looking for. Add 10 points
to your score if you haven't got the hang of using anything but
crayons yet |
| 50 to -20 |
Who's been doing late night studying then? Sorry, you're just
a run of the mill pleb - push off. |
| -20 to -90 |
A computer geek I bet. Go join some place where they talk
big numbers and floppy disks! |
| is 85 between
90 and 50? |
ALLRIGHT! go to the bottom of the class, you're a leading
light in our Association; get someone to fill the form in
for you and welcome aboard! |
What will MUNSA do for you?
MUNSA is a group of people just like yourself, and as such will have much
the same interests. We'll meet once a month to watch American Game Shows
(Except for our "advanced" class which will be watching the Australian
Imitations), Television Dating Games, and listening to Pulic readings of
Romance Novels. Also at the meetings, you'll have the opportunity to buy:
- Swamp land at ridiculously inflated prices
- Genuine Japanese imports with UNTAMPERED ODOMETERS (with scratces on it)
- Slice/Dice/Mince/Stack shelf-mount food mungers from C-Tel
- "Safe" relocatable houses from Chernobyl and many many more things, as
yet not exploited.
As a special initial offer, you will be given a free Brain Warning device
which rings an alarm if your IQ gets above 25, in time for you to go back
to your local for a couple of jugs of your favourite Weasels.
|-o-|