Subject: Bork Enterprises
From: malak@pobox.com (Don Buchan)
Newsgroups: alt.swedish.chef.bork.bork.bork

Bork Enterprises

Introducing Bork Enterprises, a new concept in the food service industry.

Recently it opened its first store of a planned chain of high scale kitchen supply stores in malls. A spokesman for Bork Enterprises said in an interview that "Thees is nutheeng noo fur zee beeg gooy. He-a is a well knoon und ecknoleged ixpert in zee feeld. Bork Bork Bork!"

A press release from Bork Enterprises listed the following as typical products to be found at the stores:

• Ixpenseefe-a frypuns ideel fur vhumpeeng cheeckees oofer zee heed zeen fryeeng zeem up
• Puts
• Coottlery
• Ceke-a smooshers
• Cooookbooooks
• Everd Veenning Chuculete-a Muuse-a receepes
• Ixtra speceeel duooghnoot receepes thet cume-a veet a leecense-a tu poorchese-a, oovn, und ooperete-a a boom-boom
• Cheff's hets & uneeffurms
• und su mooch mure-a ... Bork Bork Bork!

Also in the works is a chain of "cheeckee" restaurants. According to Zee Cheff, as the president likes to be referred to, it will include such specialties as "cheeckee goombu, cheeckee boorgers, und berbecooe-a^? cheeckee. Bork Bork Bork!"

A senior vice president also gave the following statement: "Ve-a ere-a elsu cunseedering oopeneeng up a fegeteble-a und cheeckee merket. Bork Bork Bork!" However, there was no comment as to whether the produce to be sold would give cooking advice to or run away from prospective customers.

Bork Enterprises is listed on the MSE (Muppet Stock Exchange) and posted record trading on its first day. When asked to comment on its spectacular performance, the founder and CEO of Bork Enterprises, the Swedish Chef, was quoted as saying, "Hurdy Gurdy, fery pleesed, Bork Bork Bork!"