Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Horn broken, watch for finger.

My kid had sex with your honor student.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

Hang up and drive.

Lord save me from your followers.

Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.

Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.