Are you having a hard time finding the right gift for the computer addict whose PC has everything? Not another Dilbert necktie, or King's Quest XLVIII. Try one of these.

- CD-ROM rewinder. (For blondes only.)

- Virtual reality beer.

- NoseBlaster smell card -- the latest in multi-media technology. The deluxe version comes with direct-feed nostril tubes for the ultimate in virtual olfactory experience.

- True-Type font modeled on my handwriting. The last word in non-reversible encryption. (May not be exported from the country.)

- 72-inch monitor.

- 20-foot mouse extension cord - a must for the 72-inch monitor.

- Michael Jackson-to-Michael Jackson Morph screen saver -- endless variations.

- Bedpan -- Why leave your computer just for that? (Not for use with NoseBlaster.)