The End of the World

Article 6113 of rec.humor.funny:
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: End of the world?
Reply-Path: cmt@christa.unh.edu
From: Cole.Tuininga@unh.edu (Egon)
Keywords: chuckle
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Date: Thu, 6 Feb 97 19:30:03 EST
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[Note - making the rounds, no attribution could be located - ed.]

The End of the World

When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?

USA Today:
WE'RE DEAD

The Wall Street Journal:
DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS
National Enquirer:
O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN
Playboy:
GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft Systems Journal:
APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE
Victoria's Secret Catalog:
OUR FINAL SALE
Sports Illustrated:
GAME OVER
Wired:
THE LAST NEW THING
Rolling Stone:
THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR
Readers Digest:
'BYE
Discover Magazine:
HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?
TV Guide:
DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!
Lady's Home Journal:
LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGEMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!
America Online:
SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.
Inc. magazine:
TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft's Web Site:
IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE.
Sun:
ARMAGEDDON TOLERANT SOFTWARE NOW AVAILABLE!

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