Aaaugh! - a humor archive
Groaners

  1. What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France?
    Linoleum blownapart.

  2. A city in Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs.
    It became known as "Dogless Fairbanks."

  3. Which famous golfer loves to drink wine?
    Litre Vino.

  4. A man goes to a dermatologist with a rare skin disease. The doctor says, "Try a milk bath." So the guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he needs enough milk to take a bath. The dairy man asks, "You want that pasteurized?"
    "Nah," the man replied. "Up to my chin should do it."

  5. What's the difference between an angry circus-owner and a Roman barber?
    One is a raving showman, and the other is a shaving Roman.

  6. In ancient Rome, deli workers were told that they could eat anything they wanted during the lunch hour. Anything that is, except the smoked salmon.
    Thus were created the world's first anti-lox breaks.

  7. Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
    Both crews were marooned.

  8. Why did the Maharishi refuse Novocain when he had his tooth pulled?
    He wanted to transcend dental medication.

  9. Did you hear about the two men from the monastery who opened a fast-food seafood restaurant?
    One was the fish friar, the other was the chip monk

  10. A scientist cloned himself but the experiment created a duplicate who used very foul language. As the clone cursed and swore, the scientist finally pushed it out the window, and it fell to its death. Later the scientist was arrested for making an obscene clone fall.


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