Aaaugh! - a humor archive
Article 6217 of rec.humor.funny:
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: aurienne@charm.net (aurienne)
Subject: FWD: Hacker Tarot Cards (fwd)
Keywords: smirk, computers
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Date: Sun, 18 May 97 19:30:02 EDT
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Hacker Tarot Cards

  1. The FOOL: a manager using a SPARCStation 413,1432 to run a screensaver.

  2. The MAGICIAN: a hacker with a Mac, a Pentium box, a Sparc, and a Cray on the table in front of him --- all running the same program with the same GUI. An infinity sign is over his head.

  3. The HIGH PRIESTESS: a woman holding the Documentation, closed and concealed. The crescent moon is showing on an Indigo behind her.

  4. The EMPEROR: Steve Jobs sitting on a NeXT cube, holding an optical disk vertically in his hand.

  5. The EMPRESS: A secretary with a NeXT Machine.

  6. The HEIROPHANT: Bill Gates with two flunkies kneeling before him, their faces averted, offering him floppy disks. He wears a laptop computer on his head.

  7. The LOVERS: a PowerMAC and an IBM Power PC exchanging software as an angel bathed in glory regards them.

  8. The CHARIOT: A man in a chariot, hurtling up an exponential curve, drawn by the twin sphinxes of Technology (black) and Culture (white).

  9. STRENGTH: A woman holding the entire design and implementation of Microsoft Excel in her mind as she corrects the final error. An infinity sign is over her head.

  10. The HERMIT: An old hacker, white-bearded, burns the midnight oil; its Star-of-David flame illuminates his keyboard.

  11. The WHEEL OF FORTUNE: A rotating wheel. Cray is on the side going down, despite its good technology; Smalltalk is opposite it, and C++ is sitting on top. Four winged beings -- a mouse, a turtle, a dog-cow, and a human -- look on.

  12. JUSTICE. A cold-faced woman holds a calculator in one hand and a delete- key in the other.

  13. The HANGED MAN: A programmer is tied by his ankle to a cable duct. His phase is completely shifted: he awakens at sunset, he sleeps at dawn. His monitor is reverse-video. He programs on, flawlessly, oblivious to his circumstances.

  14. DEATH: A skeleton weilding a scythe surveys a field, on which are scattered PDP-11s, Apple ]['s, IBM 360/91's, Xerox Alto's, and many other machines.

  15. TEMPERANCE: An angel stands with one foot on her chair and one on the floor, as she copies files from one disk to another. A cursor blinks from her chest.

  16. The DEVIL: The goat-headed Lord of the Pit stands on a pile of Windows manuals, holding an inverted torch in one hand. Two humans, male and female, are in chains at his feet.

  17. The TOWER: An ivory tower is struck by a bolt of lightning. Two robed figures, denied tenure, are hurtled to the ground.

  18. The STAR: A Mac is running its `warp' screen saver, in a transient fragile moment of peace.

  19. The MOON: A wolf and a jackal are typing at two PC's. A crayfish crawls out of a pool, offering suggestions that may ultimately prove deadly. The moon shines through a window.

  20. The SUN: A naked child riding a winged rocking horse programs clever applications on a high-quality workstation.

  21. JUDGEMENT: An angel blows a trumpet; all over the net, web pages arise, to be rated Cool or not.

  22. The WORLD: A woman dances on the clouds, unclothed, unencumbered, in a ring of clouds, a 3-d mouse in each hand. The four winged beings from the Wheel of Fortune surround her.

[Note - "Hacker Tarot Cards" was originally written by Bard Bloom (bard@watson.ibm.com) as a part of the USENET Oracle. - ed.]


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