Ways To Handle Stress
- Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out
- Use your Mastercard to pay your visa.
- Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on
- When someone says "have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.
- Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
- Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a candygram.
- Make a list of things of things that you've already done.
- Dance naked in front of your pets.
- Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to preschool as
if nothing was wrong.
- Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman
numerals.
- Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
- Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high
places.
- Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
- Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
- Buy a subscription to Sleezoid Weekly and send it to your boss' wife.
- Pay your electric bill in pennies.
- Drive to work in reverse.
- Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the
Flintstones during that important finance meeting.
- Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
- Refresh yourself. Put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
- Tell your boss to blow it out a his mule and let him figure it out.
- Polish your car with ear wax.
- Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
- Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to
you.
- Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
- Braid the hairs in each nostril.
- Write a short story; using alphabet soup.
- Lie on your back eating celery....using your navel as a salt dipper.
- Stare at people through the lines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
- Make up a language and ask people for directions.
|-o-|
