amanda (ah man' d'uoh) n. sweet, old-fashioned, motherly type; adhering to the adage that "Father knows best, unless he's vulcan."

bashir (bash shear') n. a person who has spent a lifetime of selfless devotion curing the sick and maimed, as long as it doesn't involve making a house call.

behr (bear) v. to create complex fictional scenarios that no one really appreciates. ("As time passed him by, Robert Ludlum found his own writings too much to behr.")

berman (burr' man) v. to preach incessantly in a politically correct fashion until even people who started out agreeing with you want to stuff socks in your mouth. ("I was thoroughly bermanized by that sermon Sunday.")

borg (borg) n. the result of blending; a mixture of human and machine. ("Our kids spend so much time on the Internet; it's as if they had borged and become part of it!")

braga (brahh' guh) n. 1. strange sexual encounter. ("Godzilla and Mothra met for a braga and then trashed Tokyo.") 2. n. strange relationship. ("Nobody understood the braga between David Copperfield and Claudia Schiffer.")

cardassian (kard dass' see en) adj. like klingon, only ordorless.

chakotay (chaa coat' tey) n. the Native American word for riker.

chapel (chap' pull) n. a computer nerd. see spock.

chekov (check' kovv) v. to utter a loud, piercing scream of pain or fright on a regular basis. ("Fay Wray was known for her ability to chekov on cue.")

crusher (krush' her) v. to possess all the medical knowledge in the known universe... yet still be unable to find a cure for baldness. ("I'm sorry, Captain, I've cured youre heart problem, but I'm crushered about your chrome dome.")

data (day' tuhh) n. a mechanism which exhibits more human qualities than the humans around it. ("Robby the Robot was data enough to blow everyone else off the screen.")

dax (dacks) n. 1. multiple personality disorder characterized by seeing spots. 2. unsightly spots.

decker (dekk' urr) n. one-level bus.

doctor (dåk' ter) n. holographic entity whose existence is a matter of perception and debate. (See also, Al Gore, Santa Claus.)

DS9 (dee' sss' nein') n. a retread; v. to revisit familiar territory; to go where we've all been before.

dukat (doo cat') n. bad person. Well, not real bad at times, maybe an OK guy. Wait... nope, turns out he's pretty vile at that.

enterprise (en' ter pryz) n. an inanimate object upon which one lavishes romantic and/or psychosexual feelings more traditionally reserved for human objects or desire. ("James stopped dating when he bought his 'vette, which became his enterprise.")

ferengi (fur wren' gee) n. semi-dramatic comedy relief. ("That cowardly, greedy Dr. Smith certainly added welcome ferengi to the straight-laced Lost in Space!")

garak (gar' rick) n. nickname for any males named Gary Richard. (see also, Jim-Bob, Joe-Bob, Bob-Bob)

guinan (gi' nin) v. to dispense refreshments and psychological advice. ("Hey, flapjack head... guinan me another beer - and keep it short!")

horta (hoar' tuhh) n. a rolling stone (minus the drugs, music & groupies, of course.)

insurrection (in sur wreck' shun) n. being put to sleep, the opposite of awakening (i.e. resurrection.)

jake (jayk) n. a would-be author who believes in writing what you don't know.

janeway (jayne' weigh) v. to lose one's way by refusing to stop and ask for directions. adj. directionless.

kazon (kay' zawn) n. a ridiculously bad hairstyle. ("What do you think of the kazon on that guy with the shatner? It sure doesn't help make his head look any smaller.")

kes (kes) v. to come an go in the blink of an eye. ("I think I saw Genevieve Bujold kes through the studio one day last week.")

khan (khawn) n. a genetic process for improving the human race, giving one super strength, superior mental abilities and uncanny overacting techniques. v. to continuously quote classic literature way past the point when everyone else has gotten up, brushed their teeth and gone to bed. ("General Chang khaned all the way through dinner and into the evening.")

kim (kim) n. an extraneous character; a fifth wheel. ("Harry had to watch from the sideline as his four friends played tennis. He felt like such a kim.") adj. naive, child-like. ("The young, green ensign felt terribly kim alongside his kirk companion.")

kira (kere' rah) n. a fabulous, if impractical earring.

kirk (kir) adj. 1. manly. 2. sexually potent. ("That JFK really was one kirk fellow.") v. to initiate romantic activity. ("JFK gripped Marilyn's plush hips and kirked her from behind.")

klingon (kling ån) adj. wild; savage; uncouth; smelly. n. one who exhibits these characteristics. ("Geez, did you see those klingons who moved in next door? What dump did they blow in from?")

la forge (la forj') n. fashionable, stylish eye wear. ("Where did you get the cool la forge?")

majel (may' gell) n. consort of a legend.

mccoy (ma koi') v. to crab, bitch, argue, complain, exasperate, moan, nag, annoy, scold, vex, bother accuse, find fault with, fret, irritate... and heal. adj. cantankerous; easily exasperated. ("If you don't stop being so mccoy all the time, you're going to have a heart attack.")

morn (more en) v. to sit endlessly on one's alien butt. n. one who sits endlessly on one's alien butt.

mudd (mud) n. a cad. a cheat, and a liar; someone who has a strong political career in front of him.

neelix (nee' liks) n. a devotee of the culinary arts who exhibits markedly hirsute qualities. ("Must be a neelix in the kitchen. There are hairs in my plomeek soup!")

next generation (nekst jen ur a' shun) n. a faint copy of a bold original. ("Better add some toner to that printer. It's cranking out next generations again.")

nog (knogg) adj. eager yet arrogant. ("The nog trekkie stewarted at Battlestar Galactica.")

o'brien (oh bry' en) n. an Irish scott.

odo (oh dough) adj. out of shape; blobbish, resembling Play-doh.

okuda (oh koo duh) v. to illuminate designs with complex graphics, extensive information and in-jokes. ("Working feverishly, the artist okudaed The Great American Dictionary or Trekonyms.")

paris (pah wris) n. a rebel without a clue.

picard (pick card') v. to prattle endlessly. ("The President picarded for hours about his economic package.")

pike (pyk) v. to miss the boat.

piller (pill' err) n. the guy who hands out the pills. ("That odo sisko needed to find a piller armed with Viagra before he could kirk a rand.")

Q (cue) n. one who brings infrequent, temporary relief to a particularly painful next generation. ("This riker cries out for a Q!")

quark (kork) n. minute particle found clinging to precious metals.

rand (ran) n. an object of rare beauty whose purpose of function isn't clearly defined; window dressing.

riker (rye kurr) adj. 1. lifeless. 2. stiff. ("The coroner determined that the body had been riker for several days.")

roddenberry (rod and berry) n. the god thing, ruler of the universe, great bird, grand pooh-bah.

rom (rawm) n. an engineer without a clue.

romulan (rawm' you lan) n. what you get when you cross a klingon and a vulcan.

saavik (sahh' vic) v. to price oneself right out of the market, leading to eventual replacement.

sarek (sahh' wreck) v. to practice "tough love." n. a loving but stern father whose noble but excessive goals set for his child will end up scarring the little rugrat for life.

scott (skåt) n. one who has an uncanny knack for improvising solutions to impossible problems under pressure. v. to create something from nothing. ("You expect me to scott a passable spin-off to a classic without the participation of the original principals?")

seven-of-nine (sev' en uv nein) n. extreme beauty; perfectly proportioned; absolute physical perfection. v. to stimulate the senses; to boggle the mind. ("Kathie Lee knew her marriage was a voyager, and that her husband was secretly seeing a seven-of-nine.")

shatner (shat' nurr) n. a swelling of the head.

sisko (sys' coe) n. one who was once imposing; no longer a threat; a former hawk, become a dove.

spock (spåk) n. 1. a super-sophisticated computer with a hard drive that only works once every seven years. ("Nurse Chapel tried desperately to get her spock up and running.") 2. obscure Southern slang word meaning "hobgoblin" or "large elf." ("The old country doctor claimed he was troubled by spocks all the time.")

stewart (stoo' wort) v. 1. to grimace. 2. to sneer. ("I had to stewart when I bit into this bitter persimmon.")

sulu (soo' loo) v. to pierce, poke or prod with the shapr point of a rapier or sword. ("Zorro would sulu his enemies mercilessly.")

sybok (sigh' bock) v. to insincerely emphasize, to pretend to share the pain.

torres (tor' rez) n. lumpy forehead, possibly as the result of a westmore, evolution or a sharp poke in the head with a stick.

trekkie (trek' key) n. members of a fanatical cult that worship the Roddenberry, usually dressed in bright gold, blue or red colors. Physical characteristics include pointy ears or torres (i.e. lumpy forehead). May be hostile if provoked. Known to mass and mate in or around convention centers.

trelane (tree lane) n. a fey, foppish Q. ("Liberace had cancelled but they still needed a trelane for the nights performance.")

tribble (tib' buhl) n. a small, hairy bisexual creature.

troi (troy) n. an excessively analytical, talky, celibate female of considerable sexual attractiveness. ("I wanted to take her out, but she told me she's a troi.") v. to take a particularly provocative bath.

tuvok. (two' vock) n. a pair of voks.

uhura (ohh her' uhh) v. to communicate, especially through song or dance. ("He saw her uhura the fan dance and instantly understood its message.")

voyager (voy' uhh ger) n. a lost cause.

vulcans (vole' kans) n. a stern, stoic, some would say heartless group of people, much like the IRS.

wesley (wez' lee) v. to repel en masse; to alienate a large number ofpeople in a short time. ("It's odd, but being wesley doesn't seem to hurt Pauly Shore's career.")

westmore (wezt' moore) n. an affliction affecting the forehead only, causing bumps thereon. ("All alien life forms in the 24th century are known to suffer from westmore.")

worf (wharf) n. a long platform built over water so that ships... er, a mean, surly individual with the disposition of Joan Crawford in a daycare center. ("Let's not sit here. That worf with the nasty stewart on his face scares me!") v. to growl and grumble in a threatening, angry manner. ("The mccoy editor could worf like a sarek when confronted with late writers and lying publicists.")

yar (yar) n. the sound an especially grizzled pirate makes. v. to remove oneself from an undesirable situation in a prompt manner. ("This program is a next generation... I think I'll yar while I still can.")