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Ten Best pickup lines of James T Kirk
courtesy of Entertainment Weekly
| 10. | Do you come to this planet often? |
| 9. | You have the most eyes I've ever seen. |
| 8. | Would you like to come up and see my dilithium crystals sometime? |
| 7. | Want to sit in the captain's chair? I can get you onto the bridge. |
| 6. | What's the matter? Have a force field around you or something? |
| 5. | Didn't we meet at Ponn farr seven years ago? |
| 4. | Is that a shuttlecraft in your bikini, or are you just glad to see me? |
| 3. | You really know how to activate my tractor beam! |
| 2. | What's a nice energy pattern like you doing in a quadrant like this? |
| 1. | Hey, nice Tribbles! |
The top 10 signs you're at a Bad Trek convention
From the Home Office in Sioux City, Iowa...
| 10. | It's being held in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven |
| 9. | When you count the fake Spock ears in the room, you have an odd number. |
| 8. | Ben & Jerry's unveils a weird-tasting new flavor called "Roddenberry" |
| 7. | Dorks with "Moe" haircuts keep wandering in from the 3 stooges convention down the hall. |
| 6. | So called starship Enterprise looks a lot like an RV wrapped in paper mache' |
| 5. | By the time you get there,they've already run out of "spockwiches" |
| 4. | The keynote speaker is William Shatner's hairpiece. |
| 3. | The hookers all look like Klingons. |
| 2. | You keep running into a guy who wants to show you his "phaser" |
| 1. | Someone yells," Beam me up, Skippy!" |