Aaaugh! - a humor archive
Two-Headed Headlines

GRANDMOTHER OF EIGHT MAKES HOLE IN ONE

DEAF MUTE GETS NEW HEARING IN KILLING

DEFENDANT'S SPEECH ENDS IN LONG SENTENCE

ASBESTOS SUIT PRESSED

DOCTOR TESTIFIES IN HORSE SUIT

COMPLAINTS ABOUT NBA REFEREES GROWING UGLY

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUNDOWN JAYWALKERS

FLAMING TOILET SEAT CAUSES EVACUATION AT HIGH SCHOOL

HOUSE PASSES GAS TAX ONTO SENATE

POLICE DISCOVER CRACK IN AUSTRALIA

TUNA BITING OFF WASHINGTON COAST

STIFF OPPOSITION EXPECTED TO CASKETLESS FUNERAL PLAN

MEN RECOMMEND MORE CLUBS FOR WIVES

MANY ANTIQUES SEEN AT D.A.R. MEETING

IKE SAYS NIXON CAN'T STAND PAT

TWO CONVICTS EVADE NOOSE; JURY HUNG

U.S. AUDIT FINDS FUNDS FOR YOUTH MISSPENT

CHINESE APEMAN DATED

MAN HELD OVER GIANT L.A. BRUSH FIRE

TRAFFIC DEAD RISE SLOWLY

WILLIAM KELLY, 87, WAS FED SECRETARY

ALL-STARS TURN ON SPARSE CROWD

NATION'S HUNGRY ATTACK MEESE.

U'S FOOD SERVICE FEEDS THOUSANDS, GROSSES MILLIONS

COLLEGIANS ARE TURNING TO VEGETABLES

MILK DRINKERS ARE TURNING TO POWDER

HALF-MILLION ITALIAN WOMEN SEEN ON PILL

SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED

SCIENTISTS TO HAVE FORD'S EARS

FLORIDA ILLEGAL ALIENS CUT IN HALF BY NEW LAW

10 REVOLTING OFFICERS EXECUTED

QUARTER OF A MILLION CHINESE LIVE ON WATER

DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE

COUNTY OFFICIALS TO TALK RUBBISH

JUDGE ACTS TO REOPEN THEATER

MAN HELD IN MIAMI AFTER SHOOTING BEE

SURVIVOR OF SIAMESE TWINS JOINS PARENTS

CARTER PLANS SWELL DEFICIT

CARTER TICKS OFF BLACK HELP

CARIBBEAN ISLANDS DRIFT TO LEFT

THUGS EAT THEN ROB PROPRIETOR

ROBBER HOLDS UP ALBERT'S HOSIERY

NEW HOUSING FOR ELDERLY NOT YET DEAD

TOWN TO DROP SCHOOL BUS WHEN OVERPASS IS READY

FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE

KISSINGER ALLEGEDLY FORGES MIDEAST PACT

GENETIC ENGINEERING SPLITS SCIENTISTS

IRAQUI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

SALESMAN SAYS HE LEFT


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