It all really just boils down to this:

ISSUE	DEMOCRATS	REPUBLICANS
criminals	Give them a second chance	Give them the swift sword of death
the poor	Give them some food	Give them the swift sword of death
endangered species	Give them protection	Give them the swift sword of death
dictators	Give them a way out	Give them the swift sword of death
the uninsured	Give them some health care	Give them the swift sword of death
the cost	$9,000,000,000, 000,000,000	$29.95 (cost of one sword)