The Canonical List of Useless Inventions, Version 1
Maintained by; rudy.boghina@canrem.com
Total entries; 78
March 19, 1994

Over the past few months, I have collected some of the "useless inventions" that have been posted on the net and have decided to post this first (at least as far as I know) canonical list. Please e-mail me any new ones and I will repost the list on a regular basis as it grows. What I did not do is collect the names of those who posted these, so if you happen to see yours in this list and are miffed at not being given credit...tough shit. This ain't no PhD dissertation. It's just a hobby, and as such it's barely more useful than;

AC adapter for solar calculators.
Air-Bag Motorcycle jacket.
Anklet wristwatches for contortionists.
Battery powered battery charger.
Battery-operated nuclear power plants.
Braille Drivers' Manual
Brake oil.
Breathable space suit.
Brown undershorts.
Cabin pressurization system for the Cessna 150.
Camcorder with braile-encoded buttons.
Candy bars with stannous fluoride added.
Car steering triangles -- doubles as anti-theft device.
Cast iron wire.
Cat flap for the fridge.
Checkered paint.
Combs for bald-heads.
Cordless plumb line.
Diet celery.
Digital clock-winder.
Digital computer.
Double-sided playing cards.
Downhill stairmaster.
Ejector seats for helicopters.
Electric banana straightener.
Extra-large bicycle clips, for use when cycling in shorts.
Felt Jumper cables.
Fireproof kindling.
Fireproof matches.
Flame-retardant gasoline.
Flashbulb tester.
Flavoured suppositories.
Foam rubber toothpicks.
Freeze Dried Water.
Frictionless Sandpaper.
Hand-powered chainsaw.
Ice skate sandals, for use in hot climates.
Inflatable anchor.
Inflatable darts-board.
Inflatable PC -- The Ultimate Laptop!
Laundromat in a nudist colony.
Lie detectors for politicians.
Low salt brine.
Low-calorie PowerBar.
Luminous sun-dial, for use at night.
Matte finish floor wax.
Mesh raincoat.
Micro-miniature personal vibrator.
Money with negative face value.
Motorcycle seat-belts.
Non-intrusive alarm clock (raises a flag instead of ringing a bell).
Non-stick Cellotape.
Papier mache step ladder.
Parachute that opens automatically, upon impact.
Particle board tent stakes.
Reduced calorie water.
Remote control for a Watchman.
Reversible garbage disposal.
Rollerblade skates for peglegs.
Rubber Kleenex.
Screen door on a submarine.
Second-hand fireworks.
Soap Dissolver.
Solar powered flashlight.
Solar powered night light.
Solar-powered pacemakers for elderly sunbathers.
Steel-belted radial rubber bands.
Strap-on portable chairs.
Sundial with glow in the dark markings.
Tire chains for motorcycles.
Trailer hitch for the Honda CVCC.
Training wheels for timid sports car drivers.
Umbrella with a skylight.
Unsinkable submarine.