Welcome to Alan's Original Humor Archive!

(This is a branch of Alan's Web Page)

The growing collection of files here are my own creations, written mostly over the past couple years and occasionally posted to rec.humor. Enjoy them, and you're welcome to sign my guestbook or drop me some mail.

All files are copyright 1995 by Alan Meiss. Please request the author's permission before reprinting. Click here for more information about this page.

The Trailing Edge Catalog
A catalog of products you definitely CAN live without.

Road Construction
Some thoughts on summer road construction.

50 Fun Things to Do in Class
50 fun things to do on the first day of class.

50 Fun Things for Professors
50 fun ways for demented professors to start their classes.

Some Famous Last Words
A few phrases that signal impending doom.

Sizzling Movie Concepts
Some truly innovative ideas for movie plots.

Sofas of Death!
50 reasons why you shouldn't buy someone's used sofa.

Some Top Ten lists:

Beat the Heat!
Some lovely ways to enjoy the recent heat wave that'll leave you feeling sticky all over.

The Silly Party Platform
Bold new ideas from the Silly Party!

Bad Names
What not to name your child.

Campaign Platforms
A piece of sarcastic commentary on the '92 election I recently rediscovered.

Twisted Greeting Cards
Putrid poetry to capture those special moments.

50 Fun Things To Do in a Mall
Who says the mall has to be boring?

Male Fashion Flowchart
The step-by-step guide for males to selecting an outfit!

101 Ways to be Obnoxious on Usenet
What NOT to do when posting to newsgroups.

Pranks and Shenanigans
The celebrated personal pranks collection.

Eigenmann Hall
Top Twelve reasons why *cough* Eigenmann Hall is *cough* a swell *cough *cough* place to live *cough* *gasp* THUD.

Seuss Titles
Top Ten Dr. Seuss titles that didn't make it.

annoying.txt
The BIG List: How to be ANNOYING!

Shift Key FAQ
The Shift Key FAQ! You, too, can unleash the power of SHIFT!

Uncle Al's Big Book of FUN
Hey kids, it's Fun Ahoy with your Uncle Al!

First Lines
Rotten first lines for novels.

BAD Jokes
Some of the world's worst jokes. Abysmal.

Winston Steele
Winston Steele, Police Detective with Broccoli Stuck in his Nose

Classified Ads
Some highly unlikely classified ads.

Kids' Cooking
Perverse Guide to Little Kids' Cooking

Duck Sauce
A shocking expose of the making of duck sauce.

The Elevator List
The celebrated list of 50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

Engagement
An account of my engagement

New Flags
Some thoughts on the flags of emerging nations.

An Odd Little Play
A weird little play I wrote long ago.

Jobhunting
The Perverse Guide to Jobhunting!

Lab Report
World's Greatest Lab Report

Letters
Letters to the Editor

MC Phive
Really, *really* bad rap lyrics.

Need More
Things we need much more of.

Perverse Computing
The Perverse Guide to Computing.

Profiles in Courage
Profiles in Courage: the inspirational Daniel Miniscus Story

Plad Dracul
Plad Dracul, Incompetent Vampire

Legend of the Porta-potty
A (fictional) porta-potty shenanigan.

Signature Files
Some thoughts on signature files.

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